a compilation of complete ruckus.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

9 hours and counting.

this one's for you mom.

okay, it is give or take nine hours till i compete. i was thinking last night what it took me to get here. from fourth grade cooking class with mr. hammel, to high school foods with my first kiss(yikes), to state high school championships, to national bronze medals, to uvsc, to a year away from my family and friends, to a chocolate shop, to a bakery, to a high end restaurant, to hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of practice with chefs that used to be my heros and have now become my friends, to a state competition that everyone had money on i'd lose, to a free trip to missouri, to this hotel, to this computer, nine hours away from competing in nationals, all alone.
this is a first for me. i've never done something like this before alone. i've always had a team. i can honestly say this is the most stress i've ever been under. i am learning a lot about myself. yes, i've had stress before, i almost didn't graduate for crying out loud, but this....i'm honory, itchy, needy, shy, and most of all....friendly. for some reason i've talked talked talked this whole trip to anyone, {ANYONE} around in hopes of taking my mind off competition. anyway, i'm not ready at all. in all chances, i am really and truly supposed to be dead, rotting last place.
but i'm not going to be. believe you me. and even if i am, i'm going to do my best. there was a guy that walked in from the CIA, and JOHNSON AND WALES, you know, THE culinary arts schools. and they walked right in like 'oh, we've got this IN THE BAG' welp, that's when i went back to my hotel room, looked right at myself in the mirror and said "um, yeah, actually they DONT have it. because i have JUST as good of a chance. i am going to freaking bust my butt tomorrow, and win or fail, i'm goign to get the place i deserve. and so the piss are they."
yep. that's what i said. i'll tell you the outcome tomorrow.