shenanigans.

a compilation of complete ruckus.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

It's been a freaking while.

I haven't bloggercised in a while, but today i am literally bored out of my noggin. okay, obviously not literally, because if that were the case, it wouldn't be humanly possible.

there is a little boy in the library wearing florecent blue rain boots, and it's making me mad. i found myself this morning overwhelmed with a surge of jealousy toward anyone under the age seven. Not only do they get to play jacks and enjoy it to the extent it should be, but they have absolutely not a care in the world. by the time i was seven i had hardly realized i was more than just a candy-eating machine, my biggest worry in life being that i would never learn to read more than the words "max can run."

I have reached the age eighteen and eleven months. I see myself in the future sitting at the end of my daughter's bed, hearing her complain about how jamie punched her in the head, my reply being "you think that ten is bad, wait until you turn eighteen and eleven months. I pray you never do." okay, i obviously wouldn't pray she would never reach that age or anything to that effect, but i would like her to fear that very day, because anyone should be prepared for such hell. message to mom, why didn't you let me know sooner.

age 7:
-school= free fun. it consists of crawling up and down the walls and desks, handfuls of paint that you get to smear across large spans of paper, and the only thing that you dreaded was the half an hour of forced sleep they liked to call "nap time."
-boys were the enemy. all they did was wear old clothes with food all over them and try to spread their coodies. They were more mysterious than anything with their "boys restroom" and what not. what was in there??
-all the future held was walking home from school tomorrow with jenny smith. and praying that someday, somehow, mom would let you take dance lessons.
-money was completely reliable. it just flowed into your parents pocket, in and out, growing on trees. it didn't really matter what it was, you got toys and candy from it. and whatever that was, was good. (side note= i distinctly remember having the thought when i was younger "what's money??")

age 18 and 11/12:
-school= $1,511 every three months. It consists of hours of essays and trying to fix your broken printer. By the end of a six hour day in a hot kitchen, the only thing that may remedy this pain is just a half an hour of "nap time."
-boys are still the enemy. at least one thing never changes. Still wearing dirty shirts, but now have also developed a cute habit of breathing heavily. and looking at your butt. There isn't anywhere they haven't spread their "coodies" by now, and have grown from illiterate wandering fools into action-needy wandering fools.
-the future is terrifying. tomorrow could mean you are evicted from your apartment, and you owe thousands of dollars to some company for some bill. It could mean you fail all of your classes and there is no future at all. It could mean kids, and carpool and crying in the grocery store aisle.
-money sure as hell doesn't grow on trees. it hardly grows anywhere. everyone everywhere is scrambling to get there hands on it in any form they can. they're taking it out of your pocket, and people are taking it out of theirs.

okay, so in a nutshell, pissing, 18 and 11 months........................................................blows.

2 Comments:

At 1:04 PM, Blogger VievEGirL said...

I remember distinctly a day where jonathan was about 25 and started whinning, "I don't want to grow up!, I don't want to grow up!" I thought that, that was so childish until I was 18 yrs and 11 mo old and I thought that was the only way to state what you are feeling at that age. It is true I never want to grow-up! I want to grow-down!

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Greedy Kristian said...

This almost made me weep. So true! I caught myself dancing in front of Vieve's car yesterday and I was like, "man, I never want to grown up. I will always dance!"

 

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