shenanigans.

a compilation of complete ruckus.

Friday, December 23, 2005

blondie

i got a gift certificate to get my hair dyed from my work, and i figured because i wasn't going to be paying for it, now would be the time to do something drastic. i went in, showed her a picture of a model that she completely disregarded, and i walked out of the place looking like my best attempt of a barbie. i look like a freakin' wannabe barbie.

so now i'm utterly blonde. i went to work yesterday and when everyone saw they started cracking the blond jokes, which was more than annoying. i think it sunk in quickly however. here this:

blonde moment #1- i got a ladies I.D. for her credit card and when the reciept printed i asked if she had I.D. for that too. she looked lost and then asked what kind of I.D. she needed to show me in order to get her reciept. retarded.

blonde moment #2- a little girl came up and asked how much our lollipops were. although they are usually $0.65 i went on to tell her they are $6.50. apparently there has been a huge inflation in sucker prices.

blonde moment #3- this won't make sense, but when it occured i myself was going to commit myself. the lady i was ringing up gave me her money and i went off telling her something about the register. like it was broken or something, even though it wasn't. to this very moment i have NO idea what i was trailing off about.

i'm a ditz. touche.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

purple poinsettias

i have an awesome roommate, mariah. and seeing as she, or any of my roommates for that matter, will probably never read this, i can branch out on last nights events.

tough day. i was crying all day long...for a bazillion reasons, some you may know, some you may not. but once again orem hit hard, and so did the fact that this struggle to live on my own gets harder everyday.

welp, at about ten o'clock p.m. i hopped in my car to drive to somewhere, i actually had no idea where in the world i was going. it was one of those days you go crazy, and think that since you've gotten in the car, you probably won't be coming back. so i drove up the canyon, and down to the lake, and up to some town i've never seen before, and then found myself too teary eyed to continue driving. for a short period of time i was being followed by a cop, and i was starting to think he was going to pull me over for a DUI check, but nope, just teary eyes.

this is no sympathy, really i actually hope no one reads this. but when i got back to my dreaded apartment and walked down the hall that looked more and more like an insane asylum, i found once i entered my room a pot of purple poinsettias and the happiest note from my roommate. it was probably the nicest thing that's happened since orem took over my life. so that's that. don't know why i mentioned it. talk to you later.

Monday, December 12, 2005

My anti-education

After several emotional breakdowns, three emergency calls home, six hours of Dawson's creek, seven bags of chocolate cinnamon bears, and nine attempts to move home i have completed two finals. two to go.

i've decided that college has worked completely opposite as they expect it to. let me explain.

1- accounting. instead of learning how to adjust my income and balance my money appropriately i have learned how to dial suicide hotline and several helpful breathing techniques. i don't recommend the class.

2- hospitality. After writing a four page paper on the cons of gambling in the u.s. i have found some very addicting online slot machines. suddenly i can't wait to turn twenty one and blow my savings. the cons- bankruptcy and compulsive gambling. the pros- a brand new ferrari.

3- english. this final was a six page research paper. i decided to do it on whether or not a college education was imporant. i concluded that it was the best thing you could possibly do with your life. it offered a step above the rest. i completely disagree with myself. word to the wise= avoid college completely, it's a hellhole.

4- sanitation. how to wash your hands, taught twice a week for three months. i can now thoroughly do it after using the restroom. but after failing the test i found myself down in the mouth. who fails a test based around how to wash your hands and controlling pests? wash. rinse. duh.

my college experience has been but a waste of time and money. the worst part is i am yet to find someone that agrees with me. hopefully after finals this will change. ha.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

i've got a kinked neck

today the library smells like bengay. suddenly i miss greedy kristian.

although my mom has heard the detailed story about yesterday, many have not. i got called into work at the place i had just quit, kara chocolates, for a carmel apple making emergency. i sped up to the mall as fast i could to help fix the mess, and for two hours made apples that were "less than pleasing". i believe i almost overdosed on dayquil. if possible. if not, i may have just about created the opportunity.

then i get outside only to find what the spanish lady gloria from my old work would call "a huge wizard", translated into english as "a huge blizzard." i've never really driven in the snow so luckily my first attempt was straight downhill at accelerating speeds. i tried to keep it slow, but i was sliding EVERYWHERE.

i soon found myself at the bus stop stepping in to the large vehicle while reaching in my right pocket to grab my bus pass as usual. somewhere between grabbing it out of my wallet and placing it in my pocket i had lost the valuable piece of paper, and i suddenly lost my, well what we could call, good mood. the bus driver urged me to "just get on the bus and look for it", although i have no idea why my pass would have fallen INTO the bus. i hopped aboard, and found i had completely lost it, and had to beg the others on the bus for their change. finally i compiled $1.40 and gave it to the angry driver.

once i got of the bus i couldn't help but burst into tears. it was one of those times where suddenly you feel like you've had the worst life and you trace back every bad day since when matt spencer heard me fart in kindergarden.

to my dismay, i had a presentation only five minutes later in my english class. my family retains the blochy face and red nose for hours after crying, so it was no wonder everyone was looking at me so confused.

now i will soon find myself scraping for the fifty dollars to replace my pass. what an expensive piece of paper.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Captain Jack is BACK

yes! my foregone obsession of johnny depp has come back to heights in all aspects! Thank you kylie for the best heads up of my LIFE. the new pirates of the caribbean trailer can be found at here: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/piratesofthecaribbeandeadmanschest.html. Don't be worried in the slightest...life will be good once more starting JUNE 2006!


YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!